The measurement of a man – examines and even asks the questions about these things that can help make a relationship grow, can stimulate conversations and can provide answers.
Topic ; Why some relationships fail.
Hello my friends,
Christopher Bruce here again
Why does some relationships that seem to be pretty good fail. Why do individuals that are good people, have such a high failure rate as couples.
For quite a few times in the past, I have had people ask me why did this happen to me ? Then ask me how ? How could he or her let me down so much.
Marriage may very well be on the rise in the USA, but one thing is certain, up to half still end up in divorce. Then worse yet, is the couples that stay together for reasons other than the partner, the ones that are the unhappily married.
So just why do marriages or relationships have such a high failure rate and yet more and more people are looking for someone to share it all with still. You would think that if this was for example a restaurant and half the food was always going back to the kitchen as no good and that the other half that was kept, a lot of people still didn’t like – IT WOULD SHUT DOWN. Yet more and more people keep coming to hope they get lucky, they keep trying in huge numbers.
Well they fail for many reasons, but I am going to give you the main ones I think, right now;
- We started off the thing all wrong
- We never got the good advice needed before starting
- Once in it, we never got the good help needed to not just make it work, but to make it thrive and stay on fire.
- We are just too damn tired to be able to give it a honest good try.
So their you have it. My BIG 4. Now class is dismissed, I did what I said I would do and I answered your question as to why relationships fail.
Now if you understand this and still want to know how to do something about all of this, well, stay with me a little bit longer. Give me a chance to do something that may have never before been done. I am going to help you correct some things and also ask you to pass on the information to others, if you think it was valuable.
First I said you started the thing off wrong – well let me explain. Ladies I have said this before but let me repeat “men compartmentalize things” so if he has your relationship at 10% and sports at 20% of his 100% mental file. Guess what, you messed up from the start in not making your compartment bigger than his time with ESPN or his sports. Ladies you love to be a “priority” but you give it up sexually before you get him to fully understand what you want (this long term thing) and allow him to make a decision on IF it is also what he wants. Sometimes ladies you are just too horny for the good of the relationship, right at the start. So right from the start you have to hold off sex and get what it is you want completely understood first. This will raise his compartment for you higher than !0% to maybe 25%.
Second, since you were not given good advice before the relationship, you men and women, do not spend any time looking at YOURSELVES IN THE MIRROR to work out some things that you know you could use some help on. You have been hurt and are still carrying around baggage from this previous relationship, that is long overdue for you to deal with. But you would rather hide it and maybe even hurt others as payback. Well all it really does, is make your water stagnant and you too. Put the old baggage down.
Third, after getting in it and knowing that it’s not right, knowing that you are unsatisfied, knowing that sooner or later the darn thing will blow up, you do nothing. You just sit back remembering the good times, or hoping that things will somehow magically get better. NO IT WONT. Get some help from a well qualified person that will provide the tools for you to work with to make it good again or good for the very first time. But most wait till it’s on the “death bed” then call for rescue and when it all dies, you turn around and try to “blame” the rescuer. It was dying for a long time and you knew it, but just waited and waited. Be more realistic and in turn fair with your partner.
Lastly, men cannot have passion and excitement if we get home and we too tired to do much more than check out the news and sports on TV. Or ladies, you are too tired to maybe put on a sports jersey with no panties, for a nice night with your man while he is watching his sports. The list can go on and on; like he’s too tired to clean up the kitchen or cook. You have to make getting healthy a real priority, its energy you need after work to still have fun. So it’s eating right and exercise are things you need to want to do, to have to do, for the vitality to come back into the relationship. Bring back in hugs as you get home, no more damn dry or lifeless “peck on the cheek, and then say I am going to watch TV for a little bit”.
As I often have to say, I cannot possibly cover a very complex subject in just a few lines, but hopefully I have at least sparked some interest, raised some points to have you look into further. The 4 areas are big ones to me, but I am sure there are many people that would choose them a little differently.
Thanks again for listening, this is ….
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