The measurement of a man – examines and even asks the questions about these things that can help make a relationship grow, can stimulate conversations and can provide some answers.
Topic ; Who am I now ?
On Thursday mornings at right about 6:30am, because where I am blessed to live has a great ocean view, I can see the huge cruise ships pulling into the port that is about 30 minutes from my home. It’s always a great sight to see the ships that seem to be barely moving, as they align themselves properly to dock. I normally am out on my front porch early to give thanks to God for everything and maybe even have some tea. It’s also the time I get my day started with some form of mental motivation.
Well, on this particular morning, with a warm ocean breeze, I asked myself this – who am I now? It’s very easy for others to remind you of who you were (back in the day stuff), it may even be easy for some to tell you who they think you are.
However, for each of us our IDENTITY is known to us better than anyone else. We know our ID, that is why we very often limit ourselves – we say “I am not like that”. We know our ID, that is why we always end up in certain situations – we tell ourselves this is the best I can do.
Our IDENTITY – is our area we are most comfortable when seeing ourselves.
Let me say that again – Our ID is a way for us seeing ourselves at our own comfort level.
For example; lets say their is 10 levels we all have as human beings, going from the lowest level of 1 up to the highest of 10.
Now suppose you see yourself at a level seven (7), its your comfort zone.
Now if something happens and you drop down to a level five (5) – you do this;
You take action to get back to your comfort zone at level 7. If it’s in the area of a relationship, you get to work and you rebuild that one or you seek out a new one. The main point here is that you take action and are driven to get back to 7 again.
If you try and try and try and try with no success, something else happens, because nobody wants constant disappointment….. so we lower our comfort level, we change ourselves to be a level five (5) person. We say stuff like “seven was never really me anyway” as a means to rationalize this new lower level AND we also start hanging around other people that are level 4 individuals. We do this so that we can still feel good about this new identity we have.
To continue, if this is in the area of a relationship, or our job, this can really hurt us. First it hurts because we are lowering our very own Identity which will cause more discomfort, and second because in doing so, we have now missed our chance to grow, to rise to higher levels.
Some of us do this; after the level drops to five (5), we get back to building and we have success, we get back to level seven (7) but we are still motivated and we keep going till we get to level nine (9) and then something inside of us tells us – HOLD ON A MINUTE – you not a level nine (9) so you slow back down and go back to being a seven (7).
Your ID tells you that nine (9) is not really you, so you do something called sabotage – which is defined as: a deliberate action aimed at weakening….. You decide it’s not where you should be and you mess it up.
Let me ask this, have you ever been in or seen a situation where the relationship is good and then someone says something that they know is going to mess up the relationship but they do it anyway. Well it can be that they feel out of their comfort zone and to get back into it they mess up on purpose. Often times it’s done subconsciously, but the results remain the same, sabotage.
Who am I now ?
Well this is not really just a question, it’s more of a challenge for you to determine your identity. Its a challenge to know yourself and maybe even understand a little bit more of your ID.
Then you can see if you have a pattern that is not in your BEST interest. You are just going back to settling into your comfort zone, not growing.
As I have said many times and been taught over and over, we all need growth to feel alive and fulfilled.
If you only settle, it is always how you are going to feel, it will be always be your IDENTITY inside. When you just choose to have this normal hum drum pattern, how can you ever expect to have a truly amazing relationship, a great work environment, or better energy each day?
As is always my hope for everyone, I want you at your best. You don’t have to win the Olympics, but I do want you to feel you are at your personal best, to feel like your relationship is soaring, that can be very Olympian for YOU.
So NOW needs to be your time, not 4 years from now when the next Olympics are held.
The fastest route to this growth, is to step out beyond your comfort zone. Go positively beyond your ID.
You might very well find yourself saying “I don’t normally do this” but wow “this change is good” maybe I can be more and do more.
Who am I now? I am a damn better lover, a better husband and a way better person, that’s who!
Thanks again for listening, this is ….
Contact me – firstname.lastname@example.org
I am the founder of — THE MEASUREMENT OF A MAN
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